I was down at Mama's yesterday (I wonder why NOBODY ever calls it Pa's?? I mean it's not like he's the hired help around there!) for some Sunday dinner and was sitting there shoveling it in when Josh started to speak. I think those braces have ruined his speech forever but it was the t.v. that made it worse. Josh was like: "Pa, sching mala puter urt?" To which Pa replied, never touching the stone deaf volume of the t.v.; "What?" Now to make Pa understand him Josh has to bob his head. Don't ask me how that helps, I'm simply the observer. So again frustrated head bobbing Josh says: Sching mala puter urt GOD?!" Only because Josh pointed to the computer did I finally figure out what the conversation was all about. "No Josh, I don't know what's wrong with the damn thing. I think I'll just take it to the dump the next time I go up there." To which Josh replied: "Whadda shu wanna dun da for? So ula muh braq eet reet bla ere?" Whatever he said was funny cause he laughed. I continued to shovel my food down and Pa stared at me and his expression said: "What the hell did he just say?" Still, he didn't touch the volume on the t.v. It dawned on me by my second plate of everything what Josh had said but my moment to prove myself as a translator had by then slipped away.
Filled to the gills and with ringing ears I headed to the den to talk to mama for a while. "Was it good?", she said. To which I replied, "Yes, especially the mashed potatoes". Never reaching for the remote control to turn the t.v. down she said..."What?!?" Josh is witty. He proved that when he laughlingly said: "Er fot er wuz guddin wa frum eet deed ent ya?!" (you thought you were getting away from it didn't you).